Recalibration is an opportunity we all have at any time in our lives. It doesn’t require a dramatic situation for you to decide you want to reset, refresh, or find your ease. It is simply a choice. However, we often find ourselves in moments where situations out of our control force our hand. Some people get stuck in those moments; they get stuck in the tragedy or the trauma, and it creates a very interesting control loop where they spend the rest of their lives trying to avoid change.
But the truth is, everybody is like a river. A river has to flow. There’s going to be turbulence, there are going to be sharp rocks and smooth rocks, and there might be a bunch of animals drinking from you all at the same time. When we put up dams in our river to stop that flow because we’re afraid of the change, eventually, that dam is going to break. Recalibration is about learning to flow again. We are currently in a “liquid state.” Like a caterpillar inside a cocoon, we don’t just grow wings; we completely dissolve into a soup of potential before we can reform. That state is disorienting, but it is the essence of your evolution.
The Dollhouse Effect and the Puppet Master
One of the greatest obstacles to our evolution is what I call “The Dollhouse Effect.” Many of us are surrounded by people who operate out of a very specific “doll set” in their minds. They have assigned every person in their life a specific seat and a specific role so they can feel safe.
When you begin to recalibrate—when you decide to evolve or move like that river—you ruin their curated narrative. Suddenly, you are the “enemy” because you aren’t being what they need you to be for their world to make sense. I’ve seen people do this at work with political-social strategy, and I’ve seen it in the home. Some people think being a “Puppet Master” is a position of power, but if you have to work that hard to make people “tap dance” for you, you’ve already lost.
Think of it like a heavy box. You can try to push that box with pure force, or you can put that box on wheels. When you’re in your flow, life is on wheels. When you’re trying to control everyone else like dolls in a house, you’re just pushing a heavy box uphill. If it isn’t a natural flow, it isn’t yours to maintain. It is wasted energy that stunts the growth of all involved.
Defining Non-Traditional Grief: Behind the Curtain
When we hear “grief,” we think of physical death. But recalibration usually follows the loss of a job, a concept, or what we viewed as reality. We are currently moving through a collective grief regarding the “programmed” world. We were raised on certain history books and news narratives, only to look “under the rug” and realize society is not what we were told.
I learned this lesson early, as a child in Indianapolis. A family member died tragically, and I watched the news cover it. They got everything wrong—the names, the ages of the people in the household, and the actual facts of what happened. That was my first lesson that “the record” isn’t always the truth. We were raised to follow the schoolbooks but to study “real history” at home, and now we see exactly who is behind those books. Looking behind that curtain requires a period of mourning for the version of reality you once believed was solid.
The Grief of Relationship Evolution
Evolution in relationships can be just as heavy. Sometimes friendships feel more intimate than romantic ones because of that raw emotional intimacy—the sharing of thoughts rather than just physical space. But people change, and they have to be allowed to.
I remember my father saying to me when I was thirteen, “I don’t even know you anymore.” And he was right—I wasn’t that seven-year-old doll anymore. I had matured. If you need someone to stay the same to keep your reality “okay,” that is a trauma response. It takes maturity to see people as they are today, not who they were yesterday. However, it does not mean the person you are will align with the person they have become.
Breaking the Script: The Cost of Good Optics
In my own life, I spent over a decade in a marriage where every year I had at least one valid reason to leave. I was caught in a control loop, maintaining “good optics” while my spirit was drowning. My partner created a world of curated lies because they knew I wouldn’t like the reality, and they wanted me to stay.
I’ve had jobs that provided “good optics” too—I could buy my kids whatever they wanted, but I wasn’t able to put them on the bus or be home for them. I could buy what they wanted, but I couldn’t be what they needed. It took a total recalibration—including the chaos of the Covid shift—to realize that balance isn’t about how things look; it’s about how they feel.
The hardest part of leaving that marriage wasn’t the abuse; it was the “receipts” I found months later. The truth confirmed that I had ignored my own spirit and allowed someone else’s influence to drown out what my guides were showing me. Recalibration meant mourning the version of me that tolerated the disrespect and fell for the manipulations because I wasn’t strong enough to break the “dollhouse.” The breaking of the dollhouse initially hurt my children and me. However, I broke the generational curses of ignoring what we knew to avoid another failed argument and devaluing myself while willingly participating in a puppet show act that I had long outgrown. It was a rough road, but I finally allowed myself to grow, heal, and recalibrate. As a mother, it is a strange feeling to experience the people you were raising and leading were watching you betray yourself, break yourself, heal yourself, and recalibrate to then one day tell you how proud of you they are of you, all while they are still children.
The Somatic Path: The Emotional Reset
Because grief is a physiological state, you cannot “think” your way out of it. We hold the “issue in the tissue”—physical armoring in the heart space, shoulders, neck, jaw, low back, and psoas.
I created the Emotional Reset Massage to bridge the gap between clinical understanding and somatic release. I spent six months testing this specifically on medical professionals—Neurologists, ER doctors, and licensed therapists —because I wanted to test the techniques I had gathered on people who understand the body and mind clinically, to get the feedback I needed to perfect what is now The Emotional Reset Massage.
The Collective Reading: Two Paths to Calibration
In our weekly Collective reading, we see two distinct groups navigating this energy. Even though we are a collective, we are all in different places. Some of us are still trying to maintain the old structures, and some of us are already reflecting in the cocoon and preparing for our next recalibration.
Path One: Releasing the Steering Wheel
This group is currently exhausted from the effort of maintenance. You might be doing this at work—using political-social strategy, sabotaging, or even “running a tight ship” with inauthentic “sugar.” Whether you’re using honey or vinegar, it’s still manipulation. If you have to work that hard to maintain it, is it actually suited for you?
Your significator for this path is the Death Card from the Game of Thrones deck. It features Arya Stark—a character who was a budding assassin. She chose the way of “Needle,” her sword, over the typical roles set for young ladies of her rank/station. This card isn’t about physical death; it’s about the transition and the candles that stay lit in the dark while the past fades.
On the left, we have the Devil Reversed. This is about waking up and realizing the situation you were trying to hang on to is not even good for you. The Devil upright represents addiction, greed, and quick fixes that keep you in a loop of wanting more. But here, reversed, it is about gaining autonomy again. It’s about emotional sustainability. As Talia L’oreal has said, “some things we get into are simply not emotionally sustainable.” Waking up to that allows you to release the puppet strings.
On the right, we have the Six of Spears (Wands). This is a victory card. When you stop trying to be the Puppet Master and reallocate your energy to your own goals instead of forcing others to tap dance for you, you win.
Underneath it all sits The World. This represents a cycle you have repeated so many times in the past, and you are finally reaching a completion. It is a card of the “in-between”—it sits between what we know in current reality and the “what if.” You are in a dual situation where part of you knows this isn’t right, but you aren’t sure how to move. Don’t worry about the “how”; just decide.
Above it all is The Lovers. By releasing control, you attract True Harmony with the universe. You stop working against the flow and align with your Divine Purpose as well as the people, workplaces, and opportunities that align with your Divine Purpose
Path Two: The Student of the Soul
If you have already let go and are currently in the “liquid state,” your significator is Temperance. You are in a period of blending—taking what you learned from the past and mixing it with your openness towards what is to come.
On the left is The Empress. This lets you know that you are highly abundant and in a space where you can create because you allow flow. Your lessons from the past give you a unique experience that no one else can duplicate.
On the right is the Ace of Spears Reversed. This represents the doubt and uncertainty that naturally arises when you are turning towards something new.
Underneath that doubt sits the King of Coins Reversed. This suggests that you might be struggling to “mind your own business” or your own household—meaning the uncertainty of your new identity is keeping you from following through on the practical, grounded things you know you need to do for yourself. It’s a carry-over from not knowing who you are in this new version yet. The key is to remain open. As my mentor, Tracy Owen, taught me, a person on the path of Ascension is always a student. You don’t have to have all the answers. Just do one thing differently every day.
Above it all is The Magician. This is about making things happen through intentionality and flow rather than force. Once you get through this Temperance phase of blending and learning, you will be able to manifest the life you want with ease
Cosmic Guidance: The 202 Message and the Pluto Wave
I pulled two oracle decks to get these final messages, and they were incredibly specific for this Great Recalibration. Because I read directly from the books of the oracle decks, I will not be providing written interpretation. Please listen to the audio to hear what it says in the book as well as how it relates to this collective reading.
Sources and Further Reading
The concepts discussed in this recalibration are supported by the following psychological and somatic research:
Ambiguous Loss: For more on the grief associated with life transitions and “behind the curtain” realizations where closure is absent, see Dr. Pauline Boss’s work at AmbiguousLoss.com.
Polyvagal Theory: The connection between deep intentional touch, the Vagus nerve, and moving the body from a stress state (sympathetic) to a healing state (parasympathetic) is founded on the research of Dr. Stephen Porges.
The Body Keeps the Score: For the scientific basis of “the issue in the tissue” and how trauma is stored in the physical body (shoulders, psoas, heart space), refer to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score.
Disenfranchised Grief: The concept of mourning losses that society doesn’t always validate (friendships, jobs, versions of reality) was coined by Dr. Kenneth J. Doka.
Post-Traumatic Growth: The psychological “recalibration” and evolution following a period of dissolution is studied as Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) by Tedeschi and Calhoun.
Decks Used:
Game of Thrones Tarot by Liz Dean
Black Moon Lilith Cosmic Alchemy Oracle by Adama Sesay
An Invitation to Soul Trine
Evolution is a lonely process when you try to do it within structures that want to keep you small. This is why the Soul Trine to Ascend community exists.
Recalibration isn’t a one-time event; it is a lifestyle. You are not the person someone else needs you to be. You are a constant discovery. If you are in Indianapolis, join us on the Second Sundays of the month for our Community Circles.
Allow yourself to be new. Allow yourself to flow. The river is waiting.
If you are ready to begin your own process, explore our somatic sessions or join the Soul Trine community. Tickets are available on Zeffy and Eventbrite.
